We've just gotten home from a 3-day trip. It was Fast, Fun and inFuriating. I'll adress other aspects later, but the last just now.
Advice to those who expect to die someday: Put ALL your wishes in writing. Give a copy to every one of your children, stepchildren, grandchildren, and stepgrandchildren [as they reach adulthood]. Give a copy to your spouse as well as to previous spouses [if applicable] Living parents, grandparents, siblings, all should have their own copy. Most importantly: Do NOT expect anyone to follow your stated wishes unles you have put it in writing. Just because you said it to everyone together so that they are ALL witnesses--forget it!!! And anything said privately may as well have never been said at all.
Take care of all this while you are young. My parents had a metal box--and I always knew where-- and it contained wills, and instructions for us kids: that we would go to live with my mom's brother to be raised. I always found that knowledge comforting. I am sad that I didn't provide my children with the same amount of security always, tho. things were always diliniated.
I need to redo my paperwork now that the kids are getting older, and give a copy to everyone! I don't think that amounts matter as much as following the person's expressed wishes. So, EXPRESS THEM!
6 comments:
Wow, sounds like you had a terrible experience! I am sorry that things were infuriating... hopefully things will all work out in the end...
So, uh, you gonna call me and tell me what happened, or are you gonna keep me guessing?? ;)
I didn't realize you'd be home from your trip already. That was quick. Hope the genology bit went well (I know the Cubs game did. Go Cubs!!)
April, Thanks for the kind words.
Sariah--yep keep guessing. Seriously I'll tell you everything and more as time passes [and at this point, we've already talked.]
Oh, yeah, home already--that's the Fast part.
You're right, to avoid future problems we should do what we can to avoid doing the same to our own families. It's something I think I should work on.
i'm for adding a clause to any will that states,
"if any and/or all members addressed or not addressed decides to contest any instructions within this will, by this action, they do forfeit any monetary, estate or otherwise listed items left to them."
i don't know if that's legal, but it should be.
FF-that would be great, except the instructions were not left in the will, but only given verbally and promises made by everyone involved in order to try to circumvent the whole amount going to deathtaxes because two countries, one province and 5 states were involved, all told.
So--everything needs must be done before the anticipated death, I think. Oh well. I'm getting over the depression now. (I'm irritated feeling instead!)
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