VA Tech Funerals

Please go to Rabid Bostonian's blog and read about te VA Tech funerals, and the planned disruptions. As if those poor families haven't suffered enough? Thank you, Erica.

Reading and Grieving: Dedicated to our Friends at VA Tech

My current reading matter is somewhat eclectic. I am re-reading the Tennis Shoes books [Tennis Shoes Among the Nephites, The Sword of Gadianton etc. by Chris Heimendinger, a series written for LDS youth--I've not read last lst couple, so decided to start over as I read them as they came out initially, starting in the '80's.] I am reading Standing For Something by Gordon B Hinckley and this morning read a section on optimism and looking for the good--including the uplifting and famous paragraphs from a couple of Winston Churchill's speeches [we will continue to fight...] This is "feel good" reading, for that is what it does: it uplifts me and makes me feel good. However, at the same time, I'm reading and listening to news stories about The Massacre at Virginia Tech. I read an especially good commentary by someone I've never heard of before, that I recall. I don't know how to do links, so I simply cut and will now paste the URL:
http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=55234 I encourage anyone to read this, it is not only about VTech but also about our society and grieving. Somehow, it all fits wilth the optimism of Pres. Hinckley in the face of horrific events. We must grieve before we can "have closure" or "begin to heal" and this writer expressed my thoughts so very well. I once learned firsthand about not grieving properly and wat it can do to you...in my case, I had a serious case of shingles for over six months, until I finally cried about the death in question. Sometimes grief is a very personal thing--over the death of someone close, over the death of a relationship, etc ... Other times, it can be a large scale event shared by strangers, Pearl Harbor, 9/11, the Sniper attacks in VA , DC and MD a few years ago, and now VTech. I grieve for those who were senslessly killed, I grieve for their amilies, and I grieve for their friends...still hoping and praying that none of our friends were among that group, but we don't yet know, a one person remains unacounted for as far as I know at this time. So let us grieve, and then go forward healing with optimism for the future.

Musings on Fear II

I must add to my musings of yesterday. In light of today's tragic shootings at Virginia Tech, I fear for my children's friends as well. I was almost as relieved as my daughter to learn that one of her good friends was OK [I was especially fond of him anyway, of all her hockey teammates ever...and got on very well with his parents, too.] But the worry is still there as another teammate is not yet accounted for. Lists of the dead and injured have not yet been released, and I fear to see his name on the wrong list.

So many vagaries of life...I fear for the children of my friends as well as I work with the youth in my ward. I am comforted by the words of the prophets, knowing we are in the end times, and despite worry [equated with fear] try to "be of good cheer" as we strive to do that which we know is right. We can do no more.

Musings on Fear

Fear is a very strange thing. It can have so many different reasons and perhaps even more manifestations. I remember eons ago [1971] when, as a college student in a philosophy class, we were asked to write down and then share our biggest fears--reasonable or un-. Mine was of fire--I think quite reasonable since I grew up in the southern CA foothills in chaparrel country. That is semi-arid, and the type of western countryside hit with forest fires on a yearly basis. A classmate [who was a Seminarian--Catholic college--he was studying to become a priest] very seriously said." Bishop Buddy" [LDS read 'Stake President" for Bishop] A formidable man--I was scared of him too--when I was 12.

I have been in life threatening situations, and while experiencing some fear at the time, it is usually after the crisis that the fear is most heartily felt. During a crisis there is no time to worry or feel afraid, just time to DO. I have had fear for my children, usually my older son, while in emergency rooms. It is just that there were more ER trips with him than with all the rest of my kids combined.

In 1980, as a young mother with 3 small children, one under 4 months, I went to the Dr. myself with what were at the time odd symptoms to me. He told me that I "had all the signs of an impending stroke." I sat in my car and cried for at least half an hour. He also arranged for an immediate CT scan in Portland. My husband was in TX with the Air Force so I had my father-in-law take me. I asked if I could go up to the military hospital at Fort Lewis WA for the test, but my Dr. said no--it would take too long. So we ended up with a huge bill for nothing. What I had were all the signs of a previous stroke--with the stress of my life at the time bringing them on. A neurologist would have known, but they were few and far between back then.

So this evening when I awoke from my "nap" unable to move, literally paralyzed, I tried not to fear. I'm sure it was just another type of seizure, or related to one of my other health problems. I see my Dr. this week anyway, so I am calling in the morning to get my bloodwork date moved up [I'm sure they'll fit me in with this!] I shall NOT fear. It is a useless emotional response when I can not take action.

But yes, I did fear for the minutes that seemed like hours before I could force my body to move. This happened once before and I was co-incidently already in the ER, so they kept me in the hospital overnight for observation. My observation was they no one had a clue--so they called it a seizure and sent me home. That was about 17 years ago, so this is not a great frequency, and nothing to worry about.

But it's got me thinking...what do I fear now? As I get older, I find I fear less for myself--even fire no longer hold the fear once it did for me. I don't fear severe illness--been there, done that--poverty, nope--homelessness, nope--death, nope--judgement, ah, there's the rub! As I read and study and learn and hopefully improve and grow, I find myself severely lacking in areas I had not previously thought were big problems. I used to find my temper and impatience my worst fault, but while I cannot claim to have it conquered, I do think I've made progress. So I try to strip the onionskins of my personality--where do I most need to improve...

So I've discovered my greatest fear--not recognizing faults in time to improve in a given area before the Judgement. But at least it is a fear upon which I can act. So if I can DO something about it, I won't fear--not really, for this life, then, is the crisis and so long as I act upon that which I can, everything will be just fine in the end.

disclaimer: I still fear for and worry about my kids and grandkids...but I can't do anything to help in their needs.

Family history

Yes, again. But most of what I do is centered around it, so... I'd like to explain what it is.Scrapbooking is, of course FH. I have Richard's book up to date. I am making great strides in Erica's book.Then I'll move up the ladder: Lura, Vinnie, Sariah, Keith's and mine.Eventually I expect to organize the materials on my parents and do viable [tho obviously less detailed] books for them.I also have books going on family lines: SorBello, Sipe, Montesano, Lueckenbach, Pinion, Harrington, etc.I work on FamilySearch indexing. It is a fantastick project, and will make genealogical research so much easier.Our Ward is considering a cemetary project. The large cemetaries are kept up and lists are even availible online. However, within our Ward boundaries are dozens of little old family plots--it is not an uncommon site to see a "cemetary" of 5-10 gravestones and surrounded by a low wall or fence. Generally, they are not kept up. I think it quite sad that researchers cannot find this info. I will definitely participate should this project get off the ground.And, of course, as anyone who knows me is aware, I research my own ancestry. My Grandpa Sipe started it. Originally, we were doing a background check for family medical reasons, but out search turned up nothing [I know now that that for which we were seeking is a male-inherited characteristic, so we'd never find it working on my mother's side. But we found lots of interesting stuff anyway.]I have had the pleasure of getting to know or at least to meet distant cousins and mid-distant cousins, and forming family relationships that have enriched my life. How? Through bumping into others who were researching the same people.Why do I do it? Because once you start and the "genealogy bug" bites, one does not want to stop!Besides. I love my family. I've missed my big brother my whole life, as he was institutionalized on my second birthday. In those days, resources for people with brain-damaged children were far and few between. My brother, born with an open ventrical in the brain, was worse off than most. While he had a modicum of control over his muscles, he was both blind and deaf. I barely remember him, and indeed at this point, my memories are more like memories of memories as my mother helped me to remember him always. As a result, I've always felt close to Mark. A second brother was born many years later with he same problem, only worse as he had less control of his muscles. Being five years older than he, I remember Vance very well. Besides, he lived at home much longer--because the waiting list to get a child into the Children's Hospital in Northern Indiana was now much longer.My mother said in her last years how she wished they'd made a different choice and kept them home. But who was to know that the services would develop as they have? And indeed, too late for my brothers who died of old age when young children. I recall when Mark died, I was in the fifth grade, and broken hearted, had a long discussion with my teacher, Sister Nicholas. I asked her if Mark would still be my brother--even in heaven. She answered with an unwavering "Yes!" I knew she was right and was comforted. As the years went by and we lost family member after family member [Seemingly one per year] I never again wavered or worried, for I "Knew" that they would still be my brothers, my sister, my grandpa, etc.When I joined The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints [LDS or also cslled "Mormon"] I found that this is a widely shared and even focused upon teaching, not only at funerals. We have the ordinances of the Temple. We do earthly ordinances by proxy for family members who have not, perhaps, had that opportunity in this life. This makes them not LDS, but gives them the opportunity to accept the sealing bonds among families...if they should so choose. My nonCatholic Grandpa [mentioned above] never joined the Catholic church, even tho. the rest of his family were good, faithful, practicing Catholics. Upon his death, my Grandma had her priest baptize him right away--just in case--and he was given a Catholic burial. I think that the Temple Ordinances I do and have done for my deceased family members are to be viewed in the same way--just in case--only they can choose to accept them or not. But I will have given them the opportunity.How can anyone object to this? Still, many who are not of my faith, do object. If I am wrong--then I guess I'm wasting my time, if I am right, then it is a good thing I do. But what does it matter to anyone who does not believe? It is not hurting them in any way, It is not changing them in any way, if they don't accept it. I have discussed this with most of my older relatives, and most have told me to go ahead and have their work done for them. For some, it may be a way of hedging their bets, but for most, it is showing their support of me. Just as I would attend church dinners at the parish with my Mom, so would she attend ours when visiting. Her brother put it best,"If you are going to be a Mormon, then you be the best Mormon you can be. And that means doing the temple work, too."So, when I learned recently of a cousin's death, after shedding my tears, I brighened up and realized that because, due to some odd circumstances, I had not received notification until over a year afterwards. This means I can do her work right away--and seal her to her parents. It is what she told me to do, long ago.
draft

A generalized tag from Sariah:

Look at the list of books below:
*Bold the ones you’ve read
*Italicize the ones you want to read
*Leave blank the ones that you aren’t interested in.
*Cross out the ones you are so not interested in that you would never read.If you are reading this: tag; you’re it!

1. The Da Vinci Code (Dan Brown)
2. Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen)
3. To Kill A Mockingbird (Harper Lee)
4. Gone With The Wind (Margaret Mitchell)
5. The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (Tolkien)
6. The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring (Tolkien)
7. The Lord of the Rings: Two Towers (Tolkien)
8. Anne of Green Gables (L.M. Montgomery)
9. Outlander (Diana Gabaldon)
10. A Fine Balance (Rohinton Mistry)
11. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Rowling)1
2. Angels and Demons (Dan Brown)
13. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Rowling)
14. A Prayer for Owen Meany (John Irving)
15. Memoirs of a Geisha (Arthur Golden)
16. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone (Rowling)
17. Fall on Your Knees (Ann-Marie MacDonald)
18. The Stand (Stephen King)I would cross out if I knew how)
19. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (Rowling)
20. Jane Eyre (Charlotte Bronte)
21. The Hobbit (Tolkien)
22. The Catcher in the Rye(J.D. Salinger)
23. Little Women (Louisa May Alcott)
24. The Lovely Bones (Alice Sebold)
25. Life of Pi (Yann Martel)
26. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (Douglas Adams)I've seen the movie...
27. Wuthering Heights (Emily Bronte)
28. The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe (C. S. Lewis)
29. East of Eden (John Steinbeck)
30. Tuesdays with Morrie (Mitch Albom)
31. Dune (Frank Herbert) not interested
32. The Notebook (Nicholas Sparks) loved the movie!
33. Atlas Shrugged (Ayn Rand)not interested
34. 1984 (Orwell)
35. The Mists of Avalon (Marion Zimmer Bradley)
36. The Pillars of the Earth (Ken Follett)
37. The Power of One (Bryce Courtenay)
38. I Know This Much is True (Wally Lamb)
39. the red tent(Anita Diamant)
40. The Alchemist (Paulo Coelho)
41. The Clan of the Cave Bear (Jean M. Auel)
42. The Kite Runner (Khaled Hosseini)
43. Confessions of a Shopaholic (Sophie Kinsella)
44. The Five People You Meet In Heaven--the movie is better, actually!
45. Bible
46. Anna Karenina (Tolstoy)
47. The Count of Monte Cristo (Alexandre Dumas)parts & saw the movie
48. Angela’s Ashes (Frank McCourt)
49. The Grapes of Wrath (John Steinbeck)
50. She’s Come Undone (Wally Lamb)
51. The Poisonwood Bible (Barbara Kingsolver)
52. A Tale of Two Cities (Dickens)
53. Ender’s Game (Orson Scott Card)
54. Great Expectations (Dickens)
55. The Great Gatsby (Fitzgerald)
56. The Stone Angel (Margaret Laurence)
57. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (Rowling)
58. The Thorn Birds (Colleen McCullough)
59. The Handmaid’s Tale (Margaret Atwood)
60. The Time Traveller’s Wife (Audrew Niffenegger)
61. Crime and Punishment (Fyodor Dostoyevsky)portions
62. The Fountainhead (Ayn Rand) not interested
63. War and Peace (Tolstoy)portions
64. Interview With The Vampire (Anne Rice) nnot interested
65. Fifth Business (Robertson Davis)
66. One Hundred Years Of Solitude (Gabriel Garcia Marquez)
67. The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants (Ann Brashares)
68. Catch-22 (Joseph Heller)
69. Les Miserables (Hugo)
70. The Little Prince (Antoine de Saint-Exupery)
71. Bridget Jones’ Diary (Fielding)
72. Love in the Time of Cholera (Marquez)
73. Shogun (James Clavell)seen the movie
74. The English Patient (Michael Ondaatje)
75. The Secret Garden (Frances Hodgson Burnett)
76. The Summer Tree (Guy Gavriel Kay)
77. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (Betty Smith)
78. The World According To Garp (John Irving)
79. The Diviners (Margaret Laurence)
80. Charlotte’s Web (E.B. White)
81. Not Wanted On The Voyage (Timothy Findley)
82. Of Mice And Men (Steinbeck)
83. Rebecca (Daphne DuMaurier)
84. Wizard’s First Rule (Terry Goodkind)
85. Emma (Jane Austen)
86. Watership Down(Richard Adams)
87. Brave New World (Aldous Huxley)
88. The Stone Diaries (Carol Shields)
89. Blindness (Jose Saramago)
90. Kane and Abel (Jeffrey Archer)
91. In The Skin Of A Lion (Ondaatje)
92. Lord of the Flies (Golding)
93. The Good Earth (Pearl S. Buck)
94. The Secret Life of Bees (Sue Monk Kidd)
95. The Bourne Identity (Robert Ludlum)
96. The Outsiders (S.E. Hinton)
97. White Oleander (Janet Fitch)
98. A Woman of Substance (Barbara Taylor Bradford)
99. The Celestine Prophecy (James Redfield)
100. Ulysses (James Joyce)

So, Sariah where did the list come from???