Wow--two posts in one day...these thoughts hit me and I figured if I was going to write them down, then I might as well come straight to the computer as write in the notebook by my bed and post tomorrow.
My husband did a very rare thing, he rented an R-rated movie: Flags of Our Fathers. We neiher one of us had gotten around to reading the book yet, but were interested in it and correctly figured the rating was because it was a war movie. Still, at first it was a jarring word here or there, then as they got into the military life, it became more. I missed a chunk out of the beginning of the film while I was on the phone about the assignment-- topic of my previous post. I returned in time for the landing on the beach. I saw the beginning of the battle, and at one graphic point, I had to close my eyes. I left. I could not take it. Mr. Allrie said that if that first incident bothered me that much, it was good that I left. As we talked we had some thoughts and realizations. First, war. Throughout history, men have gone off to war, usually not talking much about it once home, trying to forget the horrors they saw and of which they were part. The tried to protect their women and children from having that complete a knowledge. Now we make movies to honor those same men, but show just what they tried both to forget and to protect their loved ones from having to suffer.
I'm sorry, Jesse. I'd also apologize to my Dad, my uncle, and my father-in-law, but they're not around just now.
The second thing that bothered me was the casual use of profanity. I consider myself a lady. True, I wear jeans, and did before it was popular for girls to wear bluejeans. I go barefoot or wear boots or moccasins. I was a real tomboy who climbed trees and rocks and ran with the dogs on the hills. My chores were outside mostly. I didn't learn how to clean or cook or any of that kind of stuff until I got married. But still, I was a lady, I knew it, my friends knew it, and my friends were ladies and gentlemen as well.
I had one of the shocks of my life one day as I rounded the corner of the airport hanger and came up behind my father talking in a group of men. He swore! I had never in my life heard that before. And that is how that generation mostly was. Oh there were those that used that kind of language in fron of women and children, but they were "common" and they must have had very poor vocabularies as my mother explained, or they would use other words. I know that my generation is more coarse and common that my parents'. I do not, however, think that there is any good reason for it. Whenever I hear a woman swear, I think she is no lady, and my respect level drops dramatically. When I hear people use swear words in lieu of better vocabulary, I pity them, and assume that their educational level is not very high. With the next generation, I just pity. Were they not taught? Do they just not care? Are they such sheep that they swear to be accepted? I know when I was in college [pre-LDS days] smoking was a way to assert adulthood--is that what swearing is today? It didn't work out too well for those who started smoking just as their parents were struggling to quit. I suspect the swearing will be the same. But still, I pity those who have no better vocabulary with which to express their feelings.
What will my grandchildren who are just now learning to talk have to face?
6 comments:
I fear for what my kids will hear at school. Right now we're working at home to get rid of the bad language (my knight has been doing very well, but whenever he's been gone for drill weekend or whatever around his soldier buddies, it's harder. I'm very proud of how far he's come, however!). Even what we have at home isn't really bad, especially when compared to what's out in the world to hear, or just on t.v.
I suppose the best we can do is continue to teach our children not only to have good vocabularies, but to understand what it is to behave (and therefore speak) properly--something else that is sadly lacking in today's world.
I don't think it matters. It's just words and if it describes how you feel, why not?
Anyway considering kids start swearing in like, 5th grade (ask richard) I don't think that's how being an adult is measured. that's what sex is for, once you've done it in high school (and lets face it, most people do) then they can be considered more adult-like by peers. I honestly don't think swearing has anything to do with it.
I disagree, Chica. Words are very powerful, and some words are very offensive. When it comes to swearing then generally speaking I don't think people use those specific words to describe how they are feeling. There are 3 reasons I've seen for people to swear at all. 1) They've never been taught any better and don't know that you can carry on a normal conversation without swearing; 2) They swear just for the shock value and are TRYING to offend others; 3) They are sheep and are just trying to fit in with other ignorant people.
Yes, kids are starting to swear (and behave in other ways such as having sex) younger and younger every time we turn around. But that doesn't make it right. It certainly doesn't make them more adult. Such behavior only makes life more complicated for them as they try to act older than they are when they are not mature enough to handle it. I honestly think (and yes, this is just my opinion) that this is the reason we see so many people going to therapy these days. They are not emotionally mature enough to live the way they think they are.
I would add, Lura #4] Very occasionally it is correct. I recall using the word "shit" very carefully and purposefully one time I said that that was what I had had to wade through, and tho I was still speaking figuratively, it got the point across to the particular audience [my brain-fried acting partner] in a way no other would have reached him. However had I used the word regularly--or had it been alsmost anyone else in the dept. saying it, it woyluld not have meant so much. As a result, he shaped up his act as much as possible and I was stuck working with him most often simply because I could handle him!
Ok, on occation people DO use the words as they were meant to be used. But in my experience the people who actually know the meanings of the words and use them correctly aren't going around swearing all the time.
The thing is, swearing is offensive to a lot of people. Now, I'm not one for censorship, but I don't believe that certain words should be used. Ever. It's just ugly, degrading, and disgusting. For example, the "F" word. I do NOT like that word. It's very powerful. If we are asked not to use other words so as not to offend people (as in fag, the "n" word -- which I seriously think should be abolished from language -- or other racial slurs), then why not cut out swearing, too.
I agree that swearing isn't to assert being an adult. Kids who are swearing at younger and younger ages are doing so because that's what they hear and they don't know any better.
I also don't think that sex is considered a measure of adulthood, either. Teenagers having sex may feel more adult-like, but I don't think their peers, whether or not sexually active themselves, think "Jane's been sleeping with her boyfriend for months now. She's so much more grown up than I am." or anything like that.
Kids are maturing (physically) at younger and younger ages, but their minds are not. So kids do things that they think they are ready for at earlier ages, such as swearing, smoking, having sex, drinking, etc.
And I think that swearing was quite common back in the day, Mom. There has always been language that was "lower" than other language. It's common. Just like swearing is. It's just that adults didn't let their kids hear it. Now they do.
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