Mothers and Other Mothers

After the night drive to Cleveland to pick up Erica from the train, I decided that I would not get up today until I woke up naturally, and my body wanted to get up. I dozed back to sleep a couple times...the weather has been most co-operative--overcast with showers and a nice wind keeping a cool breeze flowing into my room. The new neighbors have hung a huge windchime. Its voice complements those from next door, so I've laid abed enjoying the serenade, and thinking.

I began musing about my mother and other women in my life who have served upon occasion as "Other Mothers." I'm sure we all have them...

My mother was a Saint. I do not mean LDS--she was born and raised and always lived fully her Catholic faith. I mean saintly, holy, sanctified. Oh, she was not priggish, nor was she condemning of those whe did not share her faith. She really, truely lived her faith every day. She was a wonderful mother, and if I've been a decent mom. it is because I was taught by example by the best. She was not perfect, but she tried to be as perfect as she could be in her human realm. I broke her heart by leaving the Catholic Church, but when I converted, I did so in order to live as she taught me. I knew what I knew, and could not deny the personal revelation I received, so I've just tried to be the best "Mormon" I could in following my Mom's example. [Besides, her brother told me to handle it that way.]

I have a step-mother I did not want, and for many years blamed her [needlessly] for my parent's divorce. I must credit my ex-husband here, for he pushed me to re-establish a relationship wih my Dad and by association with my step-mother. She has been very good to me, and over the years we became close. I respect her in a different way than my own Mom, but she has definitely been a mother to me and especially when I was going through my divorce, [ironic, no?] she was most supportive in ways no one else could be as she had previously gone hrough circumstances very similar to mine.

Then there's my first mother-in-law, who was really my husband's step mother...and joined the family only a couple months before I did. She was great as a friend and as a mother as I adjusted to marriage and to being far away from my own family as a new wife. We remain friends today.

One very special "Other Mother" to me was while I was in high school. She was the president of the AFS--the exchange student club that sponsered my Argentine "sister" to come live wth us her Sr. year--when I was a Jr. Because Lilita spent a lot of time talking to Bette, I, by neccessity spent time there as well--I was chauffer! AFS students are not allowed to drive in the US.

After Lilita was back in Argentina, my Senior year, I continued to visit wih this woman on a regular basis. She was my confidant in so many cases when I was confused or going thru. some teenage angst. As she has only sons, no daughters, I guess she didn't mind awfully much...but it always meant so much to me. Because of this relationship, I was able to understand and even embrace that sort of relationship between my daughters and "Other Mothers" especially Erica and Susan . [Susan worried a bit at first, but I explained how I understood thier relationship, and said I'd be happy to be there for her daughter, too. So, bring it on, Lexi!]

Mrs. Mommy was what our "crowd" called my friend, Debbe's Mom, because she was always there for all of us--including packing her van with a bunch of teens to go into LA to the Music Center. It must have been a difficult journey wih our craziness, but she never made us feel like we were a burden. Then there was "Mama West" who put up with all of us at their house--commandeering the garage for our Little Garage Theatre and just gennerally being pests. My Mom was Mom to all the crowd--and she was never able to go to a closing night performance because she was busy making sandwiches to be ready for the decending hordes. She also put up with crowds of kids taking over the pool whenever--usually without notice!

My Aunt and Grandmothers also played a large mothering role in my life, but to do that topic justice, I'd really have to talk about my sister as aunt to my kids...she was a great aunt long before she was a great-aunt!

In my musings in bed this morning, I coud remember so many individual incidents, but even the highlights go on and on. So I will end in simply repeating my gratitude for my mother and all the "Other Mothers" in my life