We made it to the town Meeting last night. We were a little late, but it was a one topic meeting: the proposed bikepath along Groveport Rd. It is actually an historical path following the old Ohio Canal (that connected to the Erie Canal.) It is a very busy (and with all the new building) getting busier, road. It is also on the narrow side. I use it frequently as it is a goodly portion of my route to church. As my transport is a bike, I am very PRO-path. It is going to be built. As far as I could tell, there is a church that does not want it along their property. As their building sits so far back from the road that you couldn't even SEE the path from their windows, I find it horribly annoying that they are holding up the project.

I learned from the man at the hardware store (yes, Erica, Joe) that there is a lovely route to Lithopolis. He explained it to me...not the most direct route 'cause that road has a nasty hill, but a much better bike route--and Lithopolis is only 4 miles from our town! And they have a good library there! I cannot reasonably ride to the other library.

Life is different when you cannot drive. I ran out of paint today, mid-project, so jumped on my bike, determined to finish that portion of the dining room today. I also had people coming to the house so I had to be back in an hour. I made it with time to spare! (I was really really fast today!)

Usually, I go nowhere without a great deal of forethought and planning. I layer on the clothing so I can remove layers as the day goes on. I usually try to go to several places while I am in town. I figure a 4 mile round trip is not to be taken on a whim. And if I go to the drugstore or grocery or Home Depot--thats an additional 2+mi. one way. Since I didn't do it today, that means I need to go to the drugstore tomorrow--I'm out of several of my meds. Dad asked me to run an errand for him as long as I was in the area--so over to the Drs clinic to pick up a form--no big deal, just adds one mile to my total. Sigh. And after today, I was going to rest tomorrow.

I really am appreciating townships just a few miles apart. It makes sense when you don't drive. I look forward to the warmer weather, and going to explore. Between home and Lithopolis (about 1/2 way) is the township of Waterloo. I never even heard of it 'til today. And there's so much more. I've decided when you drive everywhere all in a rush--you miss out. What gems are out there, just waiting to be discovered? (I do know there is a nature preserve if I go the opposite way rather than going into town.) So my advice to one and all, slow down. Take a walk or a bike ride. See what your area offers. (Then share what you've found!)

Secrets

We all have secrets. The names used on the internet provide us with "Secret Identities." I have just learned a secret. At least I think I've got it now. In order to make a link, you need to know a secret code. Everyones is different. I could link to Sariah's Universe because I knew her secret code. (OK, so her sister knew it) The same with my other links. The secret I haven't figured yet, is how to find that secret code when you want to link! I will do it tho. Let's face it, this is not like trying to find the secret of the Universe (no pun intended, Sariah) I am a fairly intelligent person. I will succeed. I picture myself succeeding.

Oh, affirmation is not going to cut it here? You mean Professor Harold Hill's "Think Method" for music doesn't work with the computer? Ha! Oh ye of little faith! I will overcome! This machine is not smarter than I! I can take it apart. (Note: I say nothing about putting it back together.)

**************
I have been informed (by my secret source) that our major cold spell has been cancelled. We were expecting temps back into the single digits tomorrow, but instead only 20's or teens overnight and back above freezing by Monday. Hoo-ray!

************
Monday eve. I will attend my first local town meeting. It is a special meeting called to discuss the current bike path issue. As my means of transport is my bike, and part of the bike path under discussion is part of my regular route to church, I am both intensly interested, and will likely be one of the most affected on the riding side of the issue. I gather the real issue at stake is gaining some of the right of way. However, if it is done in a similar manner as the other big bike path in town (it just looks like a blacktop sidewalk!) I really can't see why the property owners should have a problem with that. Especially the ones mentioned in the paper--their buildings stand back so very far from the road, I don't see how they would really even take much notice if bikers are going by. Also, if bikers are going by, wouldn't they rather have us not having traffic accidents in front of their property? I'm going to this meeting. At least, unlike when Richmond had single-issue meetings, there is no trying to keep it secret. I am going, and I'm excited.

*********
Why do people who supposedly love someone treat them so badly? I made a new friend at the hockey rink today who is in the midst of a very ugly divorce. Her husband keeps putting the child in the middle. Kids have a rough enough time when their parents divorce. They don't need to be part of a battleground. Can't the adults (including and perhaps especially attorneys) keep all the mess a secret from the kids, and just present them with a fait accompli--or a choice, but not a dirty mess!

Perfectionism

Every month I go with a regular partner to visit four other ladies from church. This is called Visiting Teaching. we go with an assigned message, and we are to look after the welfare of the sister and her familial duties. Often the biggest thing is to take in meals for the sick, help with new babies or with various family emergencies etc. My partner, or companion and I were assigned together near the end of Jan. Somehow we mailed out the Jan message, but gave the Feb message, so when we went this week, we needed something. I picked up The New Era Magazine, which is our church mag for teens. It had a great article about perfectionism, I highly reccommend it. It is not a religious article per se, but a mental health article. If you don't have access to the mag. try lds.org I think you can find it there (Jan 2006 "What does it mean to be perfect?" If I knew how to do this kind of link I would. )

A few gems..."Men are that they might have joy, not guilt trips. (Russell M. Nelson) "Worthiness is a process, and perfection is an eternal trek. We can be worthy to enjoy privilages without being perfect."(Marvin J Ashton) "The Church is for the perfecting of the saints' it is not a well-provisioned rest home for the already perfected" (Neal A Maxwell)

The chart at the end is of special value. Perfectionism is defined as "a medical condition characterized by self-crticism and self-doubt, often accompanyied by anxiety, depression, or obsessive-compulsive behavior. It can lead to appetite and sleep disturbances, confusion, problems in relationships, inability to concentrate, procrastination of important tasks, and, if left untreated, major depression, anxiety disorders, and suicide."

Then comes the chart showing the difference between "doing your best" and "Perfectionism". I know all too many women for whom this topic is a grave cancern. I reccommend this article for what it is--a warning and an education onthis important topic. It happens to be addressed to an LDS audience, but it holds truth for anyone.

I've been thru episodes of perfectoionism, but my physical limitations have kept me safe due to the impossibility of my being perfect--quite a ludicrous thought! However, I've known personally several women who have suffered this so severely that it lead to bouts of time in mental hospitals, separation fron their familes for whom they wanted to be perfect, etc. In a couple cases they have been LDS, but I grew up with a family whose Mom was inand out of caree for this reason. Those kids essentially grew up without a Mom. Read the article--maybe you know someone with whom you need to share it. Maybe you need it, if not now than at some point in your life.

I am grateful for my limitations which do not allow me the chance of "being perfect". It is not a wrthwhile goal for me in this life...so I do not worry about it. We've seen it become a greater problem in our society, and it is an illness that affects females way more than males (tho. they can get it too) Anorexia, bulimea, cutting...all symptomatic of the same condition.

I'm stepping off the soapbox and heading to bed, now. Aren't you glad?

Confused

I am so confused...when I logged on to write--I had to go through a couple of extra screens. They shouldn't do this to me. I am old. I confuse easily. My son calls me a techno-phobe. I think he's being a little extreme, but I am not comfortable when things changge on me like that. Now I can't even remember what I was going to write about. And it would have been scintillating! Perhaps. Instead, I am just confused. I want to add a link, but I guess I'll have to call Lura and haver her walk me through it again.

The computer age is great and all, but let's face it, you have to be on your toes ALL the time. The changes come so rapidly that once I get really comfortable with a program--boom! the upgrade is out, and we must use it! But I just learned how to use the last one--and still had plenty to learn on it as well. All too often, it seems I must begin from scratch. Is that even a concept any more? Making anything from scratch...

I'm confused again. My husband just came in and wanted to check his e-mail. No-problem, I went to minimize this page but he stopped me. "Go to File," he says. He directs a me through a few more screens--why couldn't I just do it my way? Isn't anything ever simple any more?

So I've decided that Allrie's Mountaintop is the capital of the State of Confusion. I definitely dwell here.

HGTV addiction

As stated before--I watch waaay too much HGTV. For the uninitiated that's "the home improvement channel". There are a wide variety of shows. I blame my addiction on Erica. Yes, you, Erica. It all started out so innocently with this show for teenagers bedroom makeovers. With Lura's amazeing painting skills, and a little luck (Erica and I had picked out and purchased the right furniture years earlier...) anyway, Erica's room became a ships' cabin with portholes looking out to the sea and pirate props originally from our"Trunk or Treat" Pirates of the Carribean theme. "Just 'cause my room's so cool now, Mom, it doesn't mean you can hang out in here."
Now that I have my own house--I watch painting shows, design shows, organization shows, etc. but I don't just watch...for example, today as I ran through several shows, I built, painted, and mounted a shelf in the corner over the TV for the cable box. (remember all those plugs...I had to make a cut-out for them.)
Tomorrow I get back to work on the dining room. It is coming along nicely, and the walls are almost complete. The corner cabinet needs only the bottom corner pieces attached (well, painted, too) and it will be done. I even remembered today while at the hardware store to get "mirror clips" to replace the broken clips holding the glass in the doors and sides of the China cabinet. I also have all the makings now for two trays to go under my Mom's two black Japanese lamps. Threy have inlaid mother-of-pearl, giving them an almost silvery look against a black lacquer (sp? sound it out) Beautiful. But they will be in a room decorated with gold curtains and gold stripes on the walls, and sit atop the two "Art & Crafts Chocolate" cabinets. Did NOT work. So I got tiles: gold and silver, and am making trays for the lamps to sit upon. Pulls the whole effect together! And I can build them while watching HGTV! Always up for more ideas! Almost finished downstairs...look out bedrooms, I'm coming!
This is soooo much fun--it is the kind of outlet I've only had in recent years for my (OK. overly)elaborate Nativity set. I remember why I liked being Properties Mistress in both HS and college.
I beg your forgiveness, Erica, I guess my addiction began before there was an HGTV or even an Erica.

Sleep

My favorite activity is to sleep--not just at night, but naps, long, luxurious naps. I have always been ( in the past) an early to bed, early to rise type of person. Naps were a way to rejuvinate before a busy evening after a busy day. What has happened to me? I don't get up as early this year--Dad is the driver to early morning seminary (5:30--early enough?) He comes home and then leaves for work at 7 before I get up. Still on most days I'm up and going full tilt by 8:30 at the latest. But lately...seems like I'm hitting my stride mid or later in the day...weird. But no matter how I cut it, I still NEED 10 hours of sleep at night, and usually a good 1/2 hr nap to pick me up. How did I ever survive young motherhood? I really do not remember! I'm still working on the teenage thing. Richard is really pretty easy, though. All my kids would come through the door and I would know every detail of their day within 5 minutes. Richard's conversations are like pulling hen's teeth all too often. So why am I still up? Time to end this nonsense--tomorrow I go to bed when Richard does at 10:00! And I mean it!

Sunday

"Sunday, sweet Sunday, with nothing to do..." goes the song from the show Flower Drum Song. Boy, did they ever get that wrong! I always think. Now I recognize that not everybody has a three hour block of church meetings--but we do. Then home, dinner, and I try to get letters written (OK, OK Jesse--I said try, not succeed!) Do a little genealogy...can one do a "little" genealogy? Spend time with my family--after Richard gets over the irritation I've caused in his having to wait for me to get out of choir, and/or talk to friends--maybe he'll play a game. I try to push the work forward on scrapbooking my kids early years (this would have been ever so much easier, had I started scrapbooking--or even recording and organizing back when I started having kids!) I also try to talk to distant family on the phone--need to call Grandma Jan--still haven't talked to her since we've moved this close! and Grandma Margie, and... and... the list goes on.

How do people manage who don't keep the Sabbath?--they must never get any rest! I'm off to a very important Sabbath appt.--my afternoon nap! (with the alarm set, so I don't sleep too long.)

Perspective

Today was a lovely warm day--got up to 60 degrees. Lura tells me it was a cool day in San Diego--she could wear a light jacket. I would guess our temps were probably pretty similar. Now, in our cases, we both enjoyed it, but there are those who complain if the temps drop that low in the middle of the day--they mostly live in the south. There are others who go the other way--and they like their cold northern winters. It's all a matter of perspective. So easy to understand.

Fourth Fret suggests that mood swings can also be a matter of perspective. I am sure that is correct--it's the controlling it with which I have difficuly!

After my class today, a friend and I were talking. She was asking about my brain surgeries, and upon learning that I have holes in my head, she laughingly said, "So you really are crazy!" Her husband (our bishop) walked in at that point, hearing only his wife calling me crazy--and we were laughing at the look on his face as we tried to explain. Upon learning that I have holes in my head, his immediate response was, "Oh, then you're a 'holey' woman." We groaned appreciatively. (Remember, this is our church leader who dressed as Willie Nelson-braids and all for Halloween!)

But it occurs to me that once again, it is a matter of perspective. Therefore: I resolve to become more teflon--not let things bother me so much, or slide right off, (thanks FF) to look towards the next peak, and recognize that in the valleys lay the snares. I am trying to repent for the bad attitude all too often shown to my family--not that I expect to accomplish this in a day, but I will continue to see life more joyfully, and maybe, just maybe, I can be a better example to those around me (even if, my children, you are physically far away!) and atone some for the past. I resolve to be the holey woman rather than the crazy woman!

Changes

How is it that a person can feel so great...and seemingly a few minutes later feel totally lousy? The opposite is also true. I guess we are (OK I am) too much swayed by emotions. After my routine Dr appt today I hopped on my bike and rode over to Home Depot to pick up a couple items--the weather was basically warm--I felt great. From there I went on to Walgreen's, picked up Dad's meds (a real turnabout!) and headed on home. As I rode past the bank, I saw 54 degrees--wonderful! I stopped around the post office, removed a sweater layer, put away my gloves and replaced my hat with just the ear protectors. I had a lovely tailwind and made it home quickly.
Good thing. I suddenly started to feel really crummy, checked my blood sugar (25!!!) and went in to eat. Took a nap. felt better, sorta, rechecked: 64 . Why? why? why? OK. so this time it was health related, but oft times you can feel on top of the world, then one little bump in the road makes us (OK, I confess--me) seem like life is not even worth living. How do people keep on an even keel? Or do they? Are some people just better at hiding the ups and downs? I know that I do not feel the strength of my mood swings since the advent of Prozac, nearly so much as before, but how do you not let the little things ruffle your feathers so?
I knew a girl once in our stake in Louisianna. I told Heather one time how I admired her serenity and asked her "secret". She really did have one: she was all but blind--and it was kept in the family--her family read her schoolwork to her etc. What she couldn't see didn't bother her--so she was serene. While all that may be true, there has to be more to it than that. She didn't let her blindness make her bitter or stop her from accomplishing anything she wanted to do, yes, she had familial support, but I've known others in similar types of situations just give up.
I suppose the "secret" is actually the "secret to life" or the ability to become more perfect. I used to worry a lot about learning patience, but now I see patience with myself and others as a step to a calmer, more serene existance.
That said, I still have very strong (sometimes too strong) opinions on all kinds of topics.
I fell asleep during men's hockey today--not once, but twice! (two different games) The announcing was annoying me. I am sick of hearing about this NHLer and that NHLer. I'd rather hear about the guys who are not pros--or at the very least not on that level!

The Olympics

I thought the Olympics was supposed to showcase amateurs. Now, I recognize that Russia screwed that up years ago, but I still have this idea. The USA women's hockey team just beat Finland 5-3. It was a pretty exciting game, partly because either Finland was ahead, or the game was tied for the first two periods. Only in the 3rd period did the USA take off. Both goalies worked hard, and the result was a win for us. However. I also watched Germany vs. Switzerland earlier. The Swiss achieved what they were hoping for--a goal was scored in the Olympics. Italy did the same--I've not caught their games, but saw some spots. I love Sarah Parsons on the US team. She is 18, a high school Sr. and really an amateur! I didn't like the German team, because all but one are in the army and thus are payed to play--making them pro's. I hate the fact that NHLers play in the Olympics. I don't think that the women on the US team who are hockey pro's should play either (ie those who coach college teams). I'm even conflicted about Division I college players. I'd rather have a team full of Sarah Parsons' out there. Seems more honorable, somehow.
I don't even watch anything else. But I feel the same way--if they are paid at any level--they art professionals, hence under centuries old rules, would not be competing in the once amateur competition.

I think the same way about theatre and music. If you get paid, you are a professional. There are many different levels, but the real difference is $ not the amount--just whether or not it exchanges hands. That is why I've always considered myself a theatre professional since 1970--I was paid all that summer to work at the Idyllwild School of Music and the Arts to be on the theatre staff. My professional level was quite humble--but it was there!

There are many who will never be pro atheletes, but it would be wonderful for the best amateurs of each country to compete, not a mix of pro's vs amateurs. I also think there should be a limit to how long the individuas can compete on the Olympic teams. But I guess if they had to remain amateurs, there would be no problem there.

Snow? and Olympics

Here we are in Central Ohio. It is supposed to be snow country, right? I expected snow to be on the ground all winter long. That is what I remember from Indiana, so having returned to the north (finally) I was looking forward to a white Christmas, kids skating on the pond--especially my kid who was most anxious for the free skating time! Late Nov and early to mid Dec showed promise. Although I don't think the pond ice ever got quite strong enough for skaters, surely by January it would be ready. Not so. Although we had at least a flurry every day for weeks up to that point, on 22. Dec it stopped snowing. Then the temperatures rose well into Jan! Here we are in Feb before having anough snow to even notice again, and it stayed around only a day or so! Then a light dusting Sat night and a bit of a flurry today. Nothing real, tho. And the temps are set to rise again later this week. Since my mode of transport is a bicycle, I'm really not complaining per se., but we've suffered through the attendant ills of exposure to new germs upon moving, yet not had the benefits of snow and ice (though that I would love on the ponds, I don't miss on the streets) so no free skating, no kids outdoors coming in for hot chocolate. No White Christmas, or New Year's, or Epiphany...and looks like not for Vaentine's Day either. OK, I accept it. It has been an uncommonly mild winter here. What storms there were passed either to the north or to the south of us (just like in Richmond!) so I'm ready for the warmer temps to stay. If I can't enjoy a real winter let's get on with the business of spring!

Boy, do I sound like a whiner?! I really just want Richard to get well, and be able to go back to school! I want him to be able to get back to hockey playing...

Speaking of which...I watched the women's team play Germany yesterday. 5-0! They are doing great. Their other game was also a shut out. Apparantly each goalie has played, and each had a shut out. The youngest member of the team--the only one who has not even played for a college (yet--she's headed to Dartmouth next year) scored a goal yesterday. All the women seem so refined when interviewed. This is fun hockey. I enjoyed the opening ceremonies as well--more up my alley, as it is a SHOW! I am so thrilled--thus far I'm understanding almost all the Italian I hear. My goal: to be fluent again before I die! [Don't worry, kids, I've a very long way to go to be anything near fluent!] So, see, I'm not a complete whiner.

Creative?

I am truely enjoying working on my home. I know I probably (strike that last word!) watch way too much HGTV. Being in our first 'own' home, and as it was a brand new house--well that gives the opportunity to be creative, to decorate how I want to do it! The only constriction, is, of course, funding. I went to Home Depot yesterday with $100.00 in my pocket (last payment for the washer & dryer we sold.) and managed to stick to my list and still have to pull out the credit card--I was $2.00 over! And now I know that I need 4 more tiles--at $4.35 ea. it mounts up! Then I went to True Value and spent another $30.00. I will probably need a couple, three more jars of the gold paint, and several lengths of wood trim yet, as well as a few packages of decorative pieces, but the dining room is nearing completion! And I have the materials to finish the last bit of the living room. It is so exciting! Dad admitted that the wood box, now a cabinet, looks good--he didn't think it COULD turn out so well. Oh he of little faith! One method did not work, but another did...proveing the old adages right: "If at once you fail, try, try again." "There's more than one way to skin a cat." I've decided that goal making is a physical thing, not just mental. I've made mental goals--I will write in my journal daily etc. but this is physical when I haul the wood, the paint, and the tools into the kitchen. SOMETHING has to be done with all that stuff. Now if I could just find a place to keep my journal--in the middle of the kitchen...

So Sick

We had a book by that name when my big kids were little. I've forgotten the story, but the title has struck a refrain in my ears for the past while. How can my kids, dotted around the country, all get sick at the same time with remarkably similar symptoms? They have all been So Sick! Even Dad has had it, but amazingly I have escaped any real illness--at least for now (knock on wood). At least I was able to help Richard here at home, Sariah, long distance with some practical use, Erica and Lura with moral support. At one point, I even callled Vinnie just to ask if he were sick--he wasn't. But he found it kinda amusing that everyone else was--at the same time. So, do the germs travel the telephone wires or the internet? There's a study for our resident (OK, so no longer in residence) scientist. Do your friends and neighbors experience the same phenomenom in their families, or is it all coincidence?

Beginning

I have decided that I need to start my own blog, so I can pick topics of my own. I've chosen a Mountaintop because one goes to the wiseman/woman who lives at the top of the mountain for knowledge. As I have a tendency to think that at my lofty age and experience I should be able to dispense advice etc. this is my place to so do. (a relief to my kids who can skim it or not even read it and I won't really KNOW they are ignoring me!)