I've found an even uglier word: Good-bye. Theoretically, it is actually quite a lovely sentiment: God be with you ['til we meet again] / [on your journey] / etc. Not so bad... but the way we use and use that word today--it just means you won't be seeing the recipient of the message anytime soon. Tomorrow, I once again will say, "Good-bye" to Erica. I shouldn't get toooo sentimental--I know I'll see her in a month when I go to visit in Boston. But each good-bye reminds me of others.
Good-byes as each child in turn goes off to college, far, far, away. Good-bye to each child and child-in-law as they marry and we return to our home, far, far, away. Good-bye to each child and grandchild after I barely get to know them at birth when I return home far, far, away. And, of course, good-bye to each visiting child, child-in-law, grandchild, when they leave for their homes after visits [which are always too brief] far, far, away. Sigh.
How easy we have it though! We can talk on line--even converse with the video/phone system. We can have unlimited phone calls--generally with good enough reception that the person could be in the next room! There is a reason people of a certain generation shout into the phone for long distance calls--it used to be necessary. Likewise, they were so cost prohibitive, that long distance calls were kept to a minimum. Earlier generations had greater difficulty traveling to visit. I think of my Nona, my Italian grandmother. Once she came to America, she never again saw her family left behind in Italy. My father never even met her parents, his grandparents.
Even earlier generations had the same problems just moving across our vast country. A young family might move west and enjoy great prosperity, but that did not necessarily add up to visiting back home or to receiving visits from the family left behind.
I recognize how easy [by comparison] we have it. But I still hate good-bys. And I still cry buckets when I have no idea when I'll see that particular family member again. I do not look forward to tomorrow's good-bye--yet I know it won't be too long before it is turned into hello!
Plus I plan to see Vinnie & family over the summer? perhaps in Tulsa? and Sariah & family in the fall, and Lura and family...I do not know, so it is harder there... but it isn't forever :D
2 comments:
i had great-aunt who wouldn't ever let us actually say, "goodbye". she thought it felt too final. but, my cynical side says, real goodbyes rarely hit us with "goodbye" being said.
real goodbyes are people walking away never to return- usually followed by a smile, and "i'll see you soon."
my nephew had a nanny for awhile who was hispanic, and each time she waved and said, "adios"... she turned her palm upward, and motioned her fingers towards herself. i think that meant something like... you're always welcomed back, or hurry back... or maybe nothing. maybe she just didn't know how to wave. lol
I think I agree with your cynical side here, and perhaps that is why I cry so at good-byes unless I KNOW when I will see that person again. I've been like that since at least 1960 when my family moved to CA from IN and left all our close relatives behind. Though we traveled back and forth quite often, I always cried--horribly.
My worst outburst in recent years came when leaving my son, his wife and baby last spring. I could not stop! And we were en route to Sariah's family--including brand-new Dallin. Pathetic, yes?
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