Musings on Fear

Fear is a very strange thing. It can have so many different reasons and perhaps even more manifestations. I remember eons ago [1971] when, as a college student in a philosophy class, we were asked to write down and then share our biggest fears--reasonable or un-. Mine was of fire--I think quite reasonable since I grew up in the southern CA foothills in chaparrel country. That is semi-arid, and the type of western countryside hit with forest fires on a yearly basis. A classmate [who was a Seminarian--Catholic college--he was studying to become a priest] very seriously said." Bishop Buddy" [LDS read 'Stake President" for Bishop] A formidable man--I was scared of him too--when I was 12.

I have been in life threatening situations, and while experiencing some fear at the time, it is usually after the crisis that the fear is most heartily felt. During a crisis there is no time to worry or feel afraid, just time to DO. I have had fear for my children, usually my older son, while in emergency rooms. It is just that there were more ER trips with him than with all the rest of my kids combined.

In 1980, as a young mother with 3 small children, one under 4 months, I went to the Dr. myself with what were at the time odd symptoms to me. He told me that I "had all the signs of an impending stroke." I sat in my car and cried for at least half an hour. He also arranged for an immediate CT scan in Portland. My husband was in TX with the Air Force so I had my father-in-law take me. I asked if I could go up to the military hospital at Fort Lewis WA for the test, but my Dr. said no--it would take too long. So we ended up with a huge bill for nothing. What I had were all the signs of a previous stroke--with the stress of my life at the time bringing them on. A neurologist would have known, but they were few and far between back then.

So this evening when I awoke from my "nap" unable to move, literally paralyzed, I tried not to fear. I'm sure it was just another type of seizure, or related to one of my other health problems. I see my Dr. this week anyway, so I am calling in the morning to get my bloodwork date moved up [I'm sure they'll fit me in with this!] I shall NOT fear. It is a useless emotional response when I can not take action.

But yes, I did fear for the minutes that seemed like hours before I could force my body to move. This happened once before and I was co-incidently already in the ER, so they kept me in the hospital overnight for observation. My observation was they no one had a clue--so they called it a seizure and sent me home. That was about 17 years ago, so this is not a great frequency, and nothing to worry about.

But it's got me thinking...what do I fear now? As I get older, I find I fear less for myself--even fire no longer hold the fear once it did for me. I don't fear severe illness--been there, done that--poverty, nope--homelessness, nope--death, nope--judgement, ah, there's the rub! As I read and study and learn and hopefully improve and grow, I find myself severely lacking in areas I had not previously thought were big problems. I used to find my temper and impatience my worst fault, but while I cannot claim to have it conquered, I do think I've made progress. So I try to strip the onionskins of my personality--where do I most need to improve...

So I've discovered my greatest fear--not recognizing faults in time to improve in a given area before the Judgement. But at least it is a fear upon which I can act. So if I can DO something about it, I won't fear--not really, for this life, then, is the crisis and so long as I act upon that which I can, everything will be just fine in the end.

disclaimer: I still fear for and worry about my kids and grandkids...but I can't do anything to help in their needs.

Family history

Yes, again. But most of what I do is centered around it, so... I'd like to explain what it is.Scrapbooking is, of course FH. I have Richard's book up to date. I am making great strides in Erica's book.Then I'll move up the ladder: Lura, Vinnie, Sariah, Keith's and mine.Eventually I expect to organize the materials on my parents and do viable [tho obviously less detailed] books for them.I also have books going on family lines: SorBello, Sipe, Montesano, Lueckenbach, Pinion, Harrington, etc.I work on FamilySearch indexing. It is a fantastick project, and will make genealogical research so much easier.Our Ward is considering a cemetary project. The large cemetaries are kept up and lists are even availible online. However, within our Ward boundaries are dozens of little old family plots--it is not an uncommon site to see a "cemetary" of 5-10 gravestones and surrounded by a low wall or fence. Generally, they are not kept up. I think it quite sad that researchers cannot find this info. I will definitely participate should this project get off the ground.And, of course, as anyone who knows me is aware, I research my own ancestry. My Grandpa Sipe started it. Originally, we were doing a background check for family medical reasons, but out search turned up nothing [I know now that that for which we were seeking is a male-inherited characteristic, so we'd never find it working on my mother's side. But we found lots of interesting stuff anyway.]I have had the pleasure of getting to know or at least to meet distant cousins and mid-distant cousins, and forming family relationships that have enriched my life. How? Through bumping into others who were researching the same people.Why do I do it? Because once you start and the "genealogy bug" bites, one does not want to stop!Besides. I love my family. I've missed my big brother my whole life, as he was institutionalized on my second birthday. In those days, resources for people with brain-damaged children were far and few between. My brother, born with an open ventrical in the brain, was worse off than most. While he had a modicum of control over his muscles, he was both blind and deaf. I barely remember him, and indeed at this point, my memories are more like memories of memories as my mother helped me to remember him always. As a result, I've always felt close to Mark. A second brother was born many years later with he same problem, only worse as he had less control of his muscles. Being five years older than he, I remember Vance very well. Besides, he lived at home much longer--because the waiting list to get a child into the Children's Hospital in Northern Indiana was now much longer.My mother said in her last years how she wished they'd made a different choice and kept them home. But who was to know that the services would develop as they have? And indeed, too late for my brothers who died of old age when young children. I recall when Mark died, I was in the fifth grade, and broken hearted, had a long discussion with my teacher, Sister Nicholas. I asked her if Mark would still be my brother--even in heaven. She answered with an unwavering "Yes!" I knew she was right and was comforted. As the years went by and we lost family member after family member [Seemingly one per year] I never again wavered or worried, for I "Knew" that they would still be my brothers, my sister, my grandpa, etc.When I joined The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints [LDS or also cslled "Mormon"] I found that this is a widely shared and even focused upon teaching, not only at funerals. We have the ordinances of the Temple. We do earthly ordinances by proxy for family members who have not, perhaps, had that opportunity in this life. This makes them not LDS, but gives them the opportunity to accept the sealing bonds among families...if they should so choose. My nonCatholic Grandpa [mentioned above] never joined the Catholic church, even tho. the rest of his family were good, faithful, practicing Catholics. Upon his death, my Grandma had her priest baptize him right away--just in case--and he was given a Catholic burial. I think that the Temple Ordinances I do and have done for my deceased family members are to be viewed in the same way--just in case--only they can choose to accept them or not. But I will have given them the opportunity.How can anyone object to this? Still, many who are not of my faith, do object. If I am wrong--then I guess I'm wasting my time, if I am right, then it is a good thing I do. But what does it matter to anyone who does not believe? It is not hurting them in any way, It is not changing them in any way, if they don't accept it. I have discussed this with most of my older relatives, and most have told me to go ahead and have their work done for them. For some, it may be a way of hedging their bets, but for most, it is showing their support of me. Just as I would attend church dinners at the parish with my Mom, so would she attend ours when visiting. Her brother put it best,"If you are going to be a Mormon, then you be the best Mormon you can be. And that means doing the temple work, too."So, when I learned recently of a cousin's death, after shedding my tears, I brighened up and realized that because, due to some odd circumstances, I had not received notification until over a year afterwards. This means I can do her work right away--and seal her to her parents. It is what she told me to do, long ago.
draft

A generalized tag from Sariah:

Look at the list of books below:
*Bold the ones you’ve read
*Italicize the ones you want to read
*Leave blank the ones that you aren’t interested in.
*Cross out the ones you are so not interested in that you would never read.If you are reading this: tag; you’re it!

1. The Da Vinci Code (Dan Brown)
2. Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen)
3. To Kill A Mockingbird (Harper Lee)
4. Gone With The Wind (Margaret Mitchell)
5. The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (Tolkien)
6. The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring (Tolkien)
7. The Lord of the Rings: Two Towers (Tolkien)
8. Anne of Green Gables (L.M. Montgomery)
9. Outlander (Diana Gabaldon)
10. A Fine Balance (Rohinton Mistry)
11. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Rowling)1
2. Angels and Demons (Dan Brown)
13. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Rowling)
14. A Prayer for Owen Meany (John Irving)
15. Memoirs of a Geisha (Arthur Golden)
16. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone (Rowling)
17. Fall on Your Knees (Ann-Marie MacDonald)
18. The Stand (Stephen King)I would cross out if I knew how)
19. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (Rowling)
20. Jane Eyre (Charlotte Bronte)
21. The Hobbit (Tolkien)
22. The Catcher in the Rye(J.D. Salinger)
23. Little Women (Louisa May Alcott)
24. The Lovely Bones (Alice Sebold)
25. Life of Pi (Yann Martel)
26. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (Douglas Adams)I've seen the movie...
27. Wuthering Heights (Emily Bronte)
28. The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe (C. S. Lewis)
29. East of Eden (John Steinbeck)
30. Tuesdays with Morrie (Mitch Albom)
31. Dune (Frank Herbert) not interested
32. The Notebook (Nicholas Sparks) loved the movie!
33. Atlas Shrugged (Ayn Rand)not interested
34. 1984 (Orwell)
35. The Mists of Avalon (Marion Zimmer Bradley)
36. The Pillars of the Earth (Ken Follett)
37. The Power of One (Bryce Courtenay)
38. I Know This Much is True (Wally Lamb)
39. the red tent(Anita Diamant)
40. The Alchemist (Paulo Coelho)
41. The Clan of the Cave Bear (Jean M. Auel)
42. The Kite Runner (Khaled Hosseini)
43. Confessions of a Shopaholic (Sophie Kinsella)
44. The Five People You Meet In Heaven--the movie is better, actually!
45. Bible
46. Anna Karenina (Tolstoy)
47. The Count of Monte Cristo (Alexandre Dumas)parts & saw the movie
48. Angela’s Ashes (Frank McCourt)
49. The Grapes of Wrath (John Steinbeck)
50. She’s Come Undone (Wally Lamb)
51. The Poisonwood Bible (Barbara Kingsolver)
52. A Tale of Two Cities (Dickens)
53. Ender’s Game (Orson Scott Card)
54. Great Expectations (Dickens)
55. The Great Gatsby (Fitzgerald)
56. The Stone Angel (Margaret Laurence)
57. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (Rowling)
58. The Thorn Birds (Colleen McCullough)
59. The Handmaid’s Tale (Margaret Atwood)
60. The Time Traveller’s Wife (Audrew Niffenegger)
61. Crime and Punishment (Fyodor Dostoyevsky)portions
62. The Fountainhead (Ayn Rand) not interested
63. War and Peace (Tolstoy)portions
64. Interview With The Vampire (Anne Rice) nnot interested
65. Fifth Business (Robertson Davis)
66. One Hundred Years Of Solitude (Gabriel Garcia Marquez)
67. The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants (Ann Brashares)
68. Catch-22 (Joseph Heller)
69. Les Miserables (Hugo)
70. The Little Prince (Antoine de Saint-Exupery)
71. Bridget Jones’ Diary (Fielding)
72. Love in the Time of Cholera (Marquez)
73. Shogun (James Clavell)seen the movie
74. The English Patient (Michael Ondaatje)
75. The Secret Garden (Frances Hodgson Burnett)
76. The Summer Tree (Guy Gavriel Kay)
77. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (Betty Smith)
78. The World According To Garp (John Irving)
79. The Diviners (Margaret Laurence)
80. Charlotte’s Web (E.B. White)
81. Not Wanted On The Voyage (Timothy Findley)
82. Of Mice And Men (Steinbeck)
83. Rebecca (Daphne DuMaurier)
84. Wizard’s First Rule (Terry Goodkind)
85. Emma (Jane Austen)
86. Watership Down(Richard Adams)
87. Brave New World (Aldous Huxley)
88. The Stone Diaries (Carol Shields)
89. Blindness (Jose Saramago)
90. Kane and Abel (Jeffrey Archer)
91. In The Skin Of A Lion (Ondaatje)
92. Lord of the Flies (Golding)
93. The Good Earth (Pearl S. Buck)
94. The Secret Life of Bees (Sue Monk Kidd)
95. The Bourne Identity (Robert Ludlum)
96. The Outsiders (S.E. Hinton)
97. White Oleander (Janet Fitch)
98. A Woman of Substance (Barbara Taylor Bradford)
99. The Celestine Prophecy (James Redfield)
100. Ulysses (James Joyce)

So, Sariah where did the list come from???

Thank You

I just have to publically say thank you to Sariah, Lura and especially Julia for responding to my post about my inner turmoils and the pageant. I have written a note to last year's director to apologize for unintentional hurts, and that there were no intentional hurts. Interestingly, as soon as I got to church on Sun, I was informed by the Executive secretary that the bishop wanted to meet with me right after church. I gulped and told Nick I felt sick. He said, "You'll be fine." A few minutes later I went back to him ... "It's about the pageant, right?" "Right." "Now I feel really sick." "You'll be fine." A couple minutes and I was back, "Is it just me, or others?" He named two other names--including last years director. "I really feel sick." "You'll be fine."

Fortunately, it was time for church to start. I worried through Sac Mtg. I worried through SS. I worried through RS. I REALLY felt sick. As I waited in the foyer, carefully talking to someone else entirely, Nick came by and said, 'You'll be fine." I was beginning to believe him. Until I walked into the bishop's office with the others. Last years director started to launch right in as to take control of the meeting--Nick woudn't let her. Then the bishop wouldn't let her say a word. He said his piece. He mentioned a need for asking people with a little more tact--and she launched into two minutes of vitriol against me before anyone could take a breath. The other person sat in the corner looking like he was pretending not to be there! [and probably wished he weren't!] I sat stiff and straight. [And I didn't cry!} Bishop recovered quickly from his shock never having heard her attack me like that before [I had] and stopped her. Completely. He pointed out how great a thing the Psgeant was last year, but that he could and would quash it NOW if need be. She quieted down as he proceeded to outline the way things would work this year. I am director. She is essentially the artistic director. Any major changes must go through the executive producer. We don't even have to speak to each other. I left, feeling sick. I had told the bishop on many occasions thatI did not have to direct--I would bow out if needed. He says I am to direct, and after the meeting basically told me that he wanted me to do things my way. Whew. Later that afternoon, I rceived a phone call from her apologizing for jumping on me that way. I accepted her apology, but I feel just like last fall when she did basically the same thing to me for keeping things moving when she was out sick. So now I really know--how she feels, and that I am a friend only so far as she can use me. Oh well. The pageant is worth it on so many levels. This is my last public complaint. Now to go forward. With a smile :)

Genealogy Update

As you all know, I am really into working in genealogy/family history. I've been a FH consultant on ward or stake level almost for 15 straight years--despite having moved all over the country.

Many times a person will say they want to participate in this great work, but just don't know what they could do with a houseful of young children.

The answer is here. The Church has a new FamilySearch Indexing Program going on. All those millions of records on the microfilms and microfiche stored in the granite vaults are in process of being digitalized. Volunteers are doing the indexing. You can choose the project you prefer, as many are ongoing. All it takes is access to a computer. You can go to LDS.org to volunteer, or go through your own stake. You do a short tutorial and that's it...you can do as much or as little as you desire. My personal goal is to do one batch per day. It takes approxamately 1/2 hour! Now, I know that in the height of our pageant season I will not be able to keep up. That's OK. When I'm gone to Lura's, I can work from her computer, or just not do it while I'm gone. I don't even have to do the whole batch at one sitting. For example, I was working on a batch tonight and it was time for 24, so downstairs to watch TV I went. I continued later, came upon a Lura, and had to call my Lura to tell her! [We don't run accross her name every day--I can list each time on one hand!] Then I started on blogs, and will finish that batch in the morning [Well, it was my second today!]

Eventually, all the stuff that we normally order from Salt Lake will be available FREE online. What an amazing project to be part of! I urge everyone who can, to volunteer. You download a batch: usually 50 names at a time. You have 7 days to complete the batch. If you can't get it all done, at the 7 day point you can submit what you have been able to do, and the batch will then be given to another person to complete. This is as low pressure volunteering as it gets. Please help in this historic work of eternal consequence :) Did I mention that one need not be LDS to participate? I know, for example, that one of the projects currently in progress is the Ohio tax records from the beginning--and the volunteers are coming from the Ohio Historical Society.

Check it out!

Real Age Quiz

I received a "Real Age Quiz" to take from my husband, So I did it. I already knew this, but it is really lousy staring you back in the face. Here's the address: http://www.realage.com/reg/regassess.aspx?mod=LONGFORM&cbr=NEXS1_P I don't know how to make a link, so thisis the best I can do. After all, who could expect more at my age:72.7! But I'm only 54.6! And feeling better than I have in years! Improvement did not count in this quiz. But they do provide a whole plan to get you where you should be. I think I was better off not knowing. But that might be just me. I'm not going to worry about it. After all, I've survived more than most already--and I'm not planning on giving up the ghost ant time soon. So...guess I'll just have to live to be over a hundred in their terms. Hah!

Doing What Is Right?

I received a letter yesterday from an ex-home teacher [jr companion] who is near to the end of his Mission in Puerto Rico. I am ashamed that I fell off regular letters some time ago. And he apoligized for not writing often! I'm the one who should be ashamed. And I do.

Anyway, he asked me if I'd found any theatrical pursuits to involve in since the move here [heh, heh, heh...didn't know what he was asking, did he?] It is one of our areas of common interest.

But tonight I find myself so depressed again. I feel like I really messed up. There has been some misunderstandings I think...

First I must digress. Many years ago now, one of my closest friends at that time and place dropped by as we were sitting down to dinner. She was returning a book I had loaned to her, but inside she had included a letter to me. The letter was not written in a lucid time for her, she was putting all the anger at her mother on me [wasn't I lucky] I understood then, and I understand now, that it wasn't really her writing to me...but I've always held in my heart some of what she said, and wondered if some of what she said was true. I hope not. I try not. But was it? And more importantly, is it?

Fast forward to last winter. The Pageant director was ill, and for a couple days could not be there as we madly tried to finish costumes and sets. Initially everyone kept asking me what to do next, or what to do about [fill in the blank]. My answer was "You know what to do. You have a brain. You tell me what you need--remember, I'm the one here who doesn't sew." And after a fairly short while, the work moved forward at a furious pace with people making their own decisions and not going to one person for every little thing. The director came in for a short while to check on our progress the second day. She yelled at me for trying to take over etc. etc. etc. I was extremely depressed as I went home, wondering both at her vitriol, and at how much was true, albeit unconciously, but true nontheless

This year I am supposed to direct. I told our new bishop at our meeting that Iwould talk to the old director. Our first concern was to not hurt her feelings. It din't work. I find myself wondering again at her accusations from last year.

This production was her concept. Her script. It could never have been done without her. But it could also never have been done without me. Last year I served as her slave--not my title, but the reality. I not only cannot, but my family nor my bishop, will not allow the same situation again.

So I am left wondering what is right? Did I push myself in? Did I try to take over from her? Obviously that is become the end result. I feel depressed, I don't know what to repent of, but am left feeling called to repentence. The situation is a bit different, but I feel the same as I felt last year and years ago from the letter. Is it only me? Or do other people have situations that come up from time to time? I really just want to do the right thing. Always. Why is it so hard when dealing with other people?

Computer Generation

I'm not part of it even tho friends my age think it is wonderful what I can do on the computer [boy, have I got them fooled!] In the past month I've

1. had to get rid of my Flickr acct [and have yet to resign up] because it was unsavable. So said their support person.

2. had my PAF freeze in such a tangled mess that even with the support guys working on it by remote access, it took two weeks to fix.

3. had both printers decide everything should be printed like an envelope unless specifically fixed each and every time we print--actually, we think my husband did that one--I hope I've gotten that corrected now, but who knows? I'm afraid to test it!

4. the top CD drive on our computer doesn't like me anymore. It won't accept my CD. I finally [after a week or so] figured out to put my CD in the second one down. It works! Whew!

5. My print Shop unloaded itself somehow??? I reloaded it all by myself :)

6. Then it started having occasional problems, and it is becoming more frequent. I'm ready to take it off and start over [except I don't know how]

7. I can not get print shop to give me a short cut icon on the desk top. Keith tried, and failed, too. And he can always do that!

There were a couple more, but I forget. I know--whine, whine, whine.

At least I'm making a list so I can begin to sort thru it all...

And I will be with Lura soon, and she is patient and will help me with Flickr etc. anything that can be done from her house.

And Vinnie will be out here this summer after all, and he will help me with what's left after Erica, home on spring break helps me out. [fixes me up]

I may not be so great with computers, but my children, bless everyone of them, are.

[Sariah don't feel left out--you did all you could for me last time with Flickr--and I just drove you crazy! And Richard--you'll be around awhile, so you get to do mop up :)

Comment please

As I seem to be unable to go back and allow for comments to my last posting...the place for any comments on that one is here. I did fix it si I shouldn't have that particular problem any more ;)

Frustration--I had just finished my post when I accidently hit a wrong key and poof! It was gone. Sigh.

Today I took action on an idea which had perculated in my mind for some time, thanks to Sariah and ABQ. I talked to my Relief Society Pres. and she agreed. We are going to do a pair-up of young families with older families/couples who have no other family in the area. The need for an instant babysitter arrives, but where to turn? This will make it possible to have a surrogate Grandma who knows the kids and their routines etc. It seems like the need is not great in our ward because there are so many who are related, but for those who are not...I think the need is enormous! So we are going to do it! :)

*******************

After the fire last week in our housing development, we have a concern. We were blocked in or out for several hours. We need another way in/out! And it is in place, but blocked by poles in the ground. Apparantly, rescue vehicles know they can run right through these poles,
but what about the lady who has just gone into labor and needs to get to the hospital? Or the Mom who needs to pick up her child from school or wherever? That particular corner falls under the aegis of Columbus, so we need to petition them to open it up. It seems the problem is that it is not wide enough. So let's widen it! It is as wide as the street it leads out to which is now heavily trafficked because of the light shut down. If there had been another emergency of any kind in or whole housing development that afternoon, they would have just been out of luck! I am not the first person to be concerned about this, but I will organize neighbors and fight for what we need. I think we have a much better chance here that we ever had in saving our traffic light! So I'm off to the races again!

Help!!

Help! I'm trapped! I can't seem to comment on my own blog!!! No wonder everyone's moving if this is the kind of trouble you have. I'll be outta here too : )

A Review of "The Madrigal"

It has been a royal pain, but I finally have gotten onto the new Blog post. If I continue to have problems, I will follow so many of you others....

I wanted to post my review of The Madrigal at the local high school. This is year 17, so they've got it down to a science!

The school is built with a rotunda. The performance began with a Madrigal group singing there to seated audience. As I've sung in several madrigal groups, I was familiar with all the songs but one, so I think I can speak with some authority in saying that they did a great job! They were musically accurate [not always easy wit close harmonies acapella] and generally their diction was quite good [based on te other members of our group who did not know the music] Even the 16 yr old boy who went with us was impressed.

Next, a group performed an English country dance, then repeated it [under instruction from the Dance Master] wih audience members pulled up to partner. I was sad that none of our large party had been asked. But I did not sit us in the front row so that Dad would not be asked.

We were then led down the hall to the cafetorium. They had a proscenium stage which overflowed its corners. OK, thrust is correct, but oveflowed was the feel. The other corners also had stage sets. On corner next to the R thrust held a musicians stage.

The format was: Act I, course1 of dinner to music [also music between scenes] They had soloists, harpsichord, [well, that's what it sounded like] small groups a recorder ensemble, and a guitar ensemble, a couple of choirs, and various combibnations of the above. Well done!
Act 2, course 2, etc. [Dinner ended after Act 4.

The show: An edited version of The Merry Wives of Windsor. Again, I was very impressed. I was impress with first, the judicious editing. You got the majority of the play in a form the teens could understand, and so, therefore, could the audience. The number of characters were cut down to the essential, and audience members were used for others [such as for delivering messages etc.] Finally, in our performance, their principal was plucked out of the audience and given a long blond wig to be a brief character--to great laughter! They got a math teacher the night before.

The casting: Was excellent. While I think that those who played middle aged characters could have used their bodies a little more to show that--it is hard, for middle aged...what does that really mean? It was a concept they struggled with. As I was doing make-up, I'd ask a kid, "How old are you?" "16." "No, your character." "I don't know." That showed. Except for the old man, who did a superb job, And I noted especially with his cane--meaning he used it correctly!! Usually kids will try to use the cane along side of the affected leg. He used it correctly--opposite. He was also exceptionally good at stepping into and out of the show, adressing the audience several times in announcing the entertaining group between scenes. I wish only that his make-up had gone with the rest of him better [I didn't do his.] Also one girl told me she was middle-aged, and she did portray herself that way, but she was fighting a loosing battle because of her petit build she was picked up quite a lot, giving her a younger aspect than she miht otherwise have achieved. This is not neccessarily a negative comment, but it wold have worked better if the other women her age" would have remembered they were "middle aged" One 'man' did an exceptional job at using his body in that way. The boys, generally speaking were better at that than the girls.

Richard: Played Sir Hugh of no discernable age, who was a well respected friend to the main characters, and an indespesible background character. When he asked me what he could have done to better his performance, I said, "Have years of experience behind you." And I stand by that. He had a passably good Scots accent, which additional practice would have helped. He was fine, except a couple of times his own accent slipped through, though I doubt anyone who didn't know him well would have picked up on that. [The kids at school are all convinced he is Canadian, even though he says not...]

The technical: Each 'fake' corner's backdrop scenery was made by using scaffolding and hanging painted muslin from the floor of the top. On the top was a spotlight used to light other areas. The spot lighting crossing and occasionally alone, worked very well. The thrust corners held the two homes escept for the forest scene. The homes were turned around and being black, essentially disappeared. Gauzy curtains with leaves dropped down, and there was some sort of tree/bush thing C stage around which the actors wove on and off stage [led by Sir Hugh/Richad] in their guise as 'fairies' as the final humiliation of Sir Falstaff. Again, it is obvious that this was not the first year the director has done such a show. Excellently well done.

All in all: A good time was had by the players [Richard is sad it is over], the audience [we parents enjoyed it, so did the four teens who were friends from church who went], and the community [very proud of this anual event].

Richard is planning to audition for the spring show--different director. And if he doesn't get into the show, he still wants to work on it :) Now this I understand.

Wow--two posts in one day...these thoughts hit me and I figured if I was going to write them down, then I might as well come straight to the computer as write in the notebook by my bed and post tomorrow.

My husband did a very rare thing, he rented an R-rated movie: Flags of Our Fathers. We neiher one of us had gotten around to reading the book yet, but were interested in it and correctly figured the rating was because it was a war movie. Still, at first it was a jarring word here or there, then as they got into the military life, it became more. I missed a chunk out of the beginning of the film while I was on the phone about the assignment-- topic of my previous post. I returned in time for the landing on the beach. I saw the beginning of the battle, and at one graphic point, I had to close my eyes. I left. I could not take it. Mr. Allrie said that if that first incident bothered me that much, it was good that I left. As we talked we had some thoughts and realizations. First, war. Throughout history, men have gone off to war, usually not talking much about it once home, trying to forget the horrors they saw and of which they were part. The tried to protect their women and children from having that complete a knowledge. Now we make movies to honor those same men, but show just what they tried both to forget and to protect their loved ones from having to suffer.

I'm sorry, Jesse. I'd also apologize to my Dad, my uncle, and my father-in-law, but they're not around just now.

The second thing that bothered me was the casual use of profanity. I consider myself a lady. True, I wear jeans, and did before it was popular for girls to wear bluejeans. I go barefoot or wear boots or moccasins. I was a real tomboy who climbed trees and rocks and ran with the dogs on the hills. My chores were outside mostly. I didn't learn how to clean or cook or any of that kind of stuff until I got married. But still, I was a lady, I knew it, my friends knew it, and my friends were ladies and gentlemen as well.

I had one of the shocks of my life one day as I rounded the corner of the airport hanger and came up behind my father talking in a group of men. He swore! I had never in my life heard that before. And that is how that generation mostly was. Oh there were those that used that kind of language in fron of women and children, but they were "common" and they must have had very poor vocabularies as my mother explained, or they would use other words. I know that my generation is more coarse and common that my parents'. I do not, however, think that there is any good reason for it. Whenever I hear a woman swear, I think she is no lady, and my respect level drops dramatically. When I hear people use swear words in lieu of better vocabulary, I pity them, and assume that their educational level is not very high. With the next generation, I just pity. Were they not taught? Do they just not care? Are they such sheep that they swear to be accepted? I know when I was in college [pre-LDS days] smoking was a way to assert adulthood--is that what swearing is today? It didn't work out too well for those who started smoking just as their parents were struggling to quit. I suspect the swearing will be the same. But still, I pity those who have no better vocabulary with which to express their feelings.

What will my grandchildren who are just now learning to talk have to face?

HELP!!

No, I'm not referring to the ongoing family feud. Nor am I talking about our messy, messy weather. I need help. [Hush my daughters--no wise-cracks, I'm being quite serious here.] I have been asked to help with a program and my part is to work with a group of teens performing "She'll Be Comin' Around the Mountain" with class. I know, we're in big trouble here.

Anyway, I remember learning [I think from my mother] that "she" referred to the train. I found info on that in Wikipedia, but conflicting info elsewhere. So, Music People, can you help me out here? I want to find the origins and meaning of this American Folksong. My research isn't getting me very far. Of course I am limited to the computer and our old Funk and Wagnalls Encyclopedia as we are snowed and iced in just now.

Of course there is no rush [the program is for Memorial Day] but I'd like to pin down what we are doing long before any execution.

Waiting For the Shoe To Drop

You know that feeling of just waiting...waiting for the other shoe to drop? Well, after last weeks 2 "cold days", 1 "snow day" and 2 2-hr delay days due to the cold [with the neighboring district taking out the whole week [their wacky over-crowded hs schedule does not allow for 2 hr delays.] And with a horrible or at least horribly messy storm due to come in tonight, everyone is holding their collective breath--cancel? 2 hr delay? but then what...it is supposed to get worse as the day goes on. In VA we had early dismissal days when it snowed a lot during the day, so who knows what to expect?

The phone rang about 10:30. The call was for Allied Weather. It was a young middle schooler asking for what the forecast was for Canal Winchester at 5:00am! I explained that forecasting was our business, and that a forecast cost money, but since we were in the same town, I said he'd just have to do what we will do. Get up in the morning and check the school closings, but there is a really good chance of a closing for tomorrow. He thanked me very nicely. It was so cute! My first "official" call! And I didn't even need to wake Dad! So now am I a forecaster, too? :)

I also have to mention that it has warmed up--at 25degrees it felt positively balmy out yesterday! Enough so that I got out on my bike. 1/2 a mile was enough. I was perfectly comfortable--except my face and head. Oh, I wore a ski mask, but that's only one layer. The rest of me had at least three--not even counting fat! The house is cooling down rapidly now [we turn the heat way down when we go upstairs, so it's been off awhile now.] Time to turn in--after I check once more for closings!

Ramblin' Updates

For those following the weather/school debates in the midwest: M-W no school--2 cold days, 1 snow day, Th & F 2 hr delayed openings. No Seminary all week. Poor Richard didn't get the no Seminary message for Thurs, but did get the message to pick up a couple other kids from someone elses house rather than their own--which is on the way. So R left extra early [cause where they were wasn't on the way]. Fortunately, Ruthie was up to tell him--in case he hadn't gotten a call. The call came after he'd left! So he's now at the top of the call list! We expect the same sub-zero temps all next week, so we will probably have delayed openings again. And then there's the mid-week snow expected... Then the following week looks like a warm-up--hooray!
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There is a little girl [2nd grade] in our town who is #1 on the organ transplant list. She needs 5. Yes that was FIVE. Her stomach and something else have already failed, and 3 more organs are in process. We are having a huge community fundraiser on the 17th for medical/travel etc. expenses for the family. A silent auction is part of it. Allied Weather [our company] is putting together a package for it. My heart just aches for the whole family. Please remember them in your prayers.
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Do you know how many film companies there are? And they come and go like...butterflies! Keeping trtack is a full-time job at the moment!
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I belong to our town's "Mainstreet" program, and got to go to a training meeting last Wed. It was really interesting as I learned first hand what it takes to have a vibrant downtown in cities large and small. As we talked on the "twice as long as it should have been" [due to snow] drive home, I was filled in more about what has happened in our village and what is going to happen. Even though we lost on the traffic light issue, I feel better about life again. First of all, I still cross at that corner--it is perfectly legal to walk across a highway, so I do, patiently and carefully. It is currently the safest route to town. We will get our overpass--I just hope I get to see it! Secondly--there are two sore spots in town--and both will soon be changed!

Of all the stuff the trainer's taught us needed to be done, I realized that our village is way ahead of the curve [no womder awards have been accorded]. I am excited to be part of this program, and to be able to share the information at the next Downtown meeting! [I feel very similar to the first time I was sent as my school's representative to a science workshop. It was hard to follow at times, but I have a new excitement which I am eager to share!] On our drive home I stated again that we need picture postcards of our town! My suggestion was applauded and accepted. Not to get the pictures taken--I had tried to get Jeremy [a photographer in town] to do it, but he closed up shop--he is now in Bentonville, AR, as head of the photography dept for Wal-Mart. So we need a volunteer. Not I! I inherited my mother's photography skills. Sad.
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Well that's my ramblings from a busy week. Oh, and I've got Erica's Been There, Done That book up through Maine. I'm toolin' along [and Sariah setting aside pics etc. for you as well].

School closings

Aaah, the variety of it all. In our family we've had snow days, heat days, hurricane days, ice days, sniper days, and now add cold days to our school closings. Of course Richard's "hop-brothers" must be having fire days...am interested what arrangements their school is making...but, still...

Aparantly, the temps will be so uncommonly low that all the schools around have cancelled so that no kids are outside waiting for, or walking to or from the buses or schools. Forgive my being old, but I don't get it.

Are we that delicate a society? I'll bet Erica's friend's Siberian Dad would find it rather curious. I recall being sent to school walking one morning in blizzard conditions because my Dad couldn't get either car out. I was in second grade in northern Indiana.

I'll bet I see kids outside tomorrow. If not playing [which I fully expect] then at least going places--so why couldn't they have gone to school?

I've said it before, and I'll say it again, I've never had a child tell me it was too cold to play outside, only it was too hot. Cold? Put on another layer. And wear your ski mask.

Life's Twists and Turns

When Keith lost his job several months ago, I was unhappy, but not upset. In past times of joblessness, I have been upset, distraught, and furious. This time I was just calm. Oh, I was angry over the situation--he should not have lost his job for what amounts to... he essentially did not chat up the people in the other offices, but stayed in his own office and did his job! Amazing, huh? Anyway, the path we were to take was not real clear at first. I was so immersed in the Nativity project, I just knew that I would be here.

When releases came, two of the main peo0ple were released. Two of us were not. Interestingly the same two of us had been called for an indefinite amount of time. So I still believe we are not going anywhere.

For some time, we had wanted to have our own business. As we are both bibliophiles, we thought a bookstore was the answer. We looked into it, we studied it, we had it all planned out. We found more than one store to purchase. Nothing felt quite right.

Previously, Keith had a weather forcasting company, but his last employer felt that it was a conflict of interests. To watch the weather and report it vs forecasting??? Really! In any case, we decided to get Allied Weather back on track. Keith used to forecast for companies like MGM, Warner, Disney, etc. for movie and TV shoots as well as agricultural forecasting (several in Mexico) and also Special Events like weddings and Garden Parties. So we're back up and doing business as Allied Weather Consultants again.

Oh, and forensic weather--that is, researching the weather conditions from when a crime was committed or an accident happenedd, and testifying in court. You know...one of those expert witnesses you see on the TV shows.

I figure we've got 'til the end of March to build up to the point where the unemployment amount is equaled, and that is far lower that what Keith used to make just doing Allied part time. I would never in a million gazillion years have thought about the weather as a business in which I would be involved, but, surprise!

Life does take amazing twists and turns does it not?

Ya Gotta Pay

I am diabetic. I know I have to watch what I eat, exercise and check my blood sugar. Well today I did great on the last, technically did the first [as it went from plate to fork and up...] and as for exercise...well we had a very active ward activity tonight. It was lots of fun. I only took a taste of things...but there were so very many things! Next time, I vow to fill up my plate with a big green salad first--and then take only as much more as will fit on the plate. Perhaps that will help. But the real damage was done at the dessert table. If it were warm out I'd go ride my bike for five miles. But the weather [always so co-operative!] has turned far too cold for midnight bike riding! so here I sit. Repentant, but with a blood sugar level that is way too high.

Now let me explain...I do take care not to get more than 170 EVER! So my waay too high is not in the danger zone. I'm not that stupid. But still, you do the crime, you do the time. I'm dizzy from climbing the stairs up, turn around and down. turn around, repeat.

Epilepsy is so much easier for me to control--and when I have a problem, I rest. Can you see how the two run counter each other? So I'm exercising off the sugars [food]I ate but staying up so late that I will have seizures by tomorrow. At which point, I will be exhausted tomorrow afternoon, and just want to sleep--and the inactivity will cause me to have to watch my sugars more closely.

My Grandma was right. If you do something that is wrong, "ya gotta pay for it." I think she was quoting her grandmother...and she probably hers' etc.

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At least it was a really great Ward activity! As mentioned, it was a potluck, and our part of the alphabet had dessert. Dad made his famous cherry-chocolate chocolate chip cake. [If only I'd not had a piece of it...] Anyway, since our ward boundaries were recently changed, we are trying really hard to get to know everyone and meld into one ward. We were such a tight-knit ward before, that the sudden change is quite noticable. Yet, a very welcoming ward, so we're trying to become unified quickly. After eating we played a form of Bingo, requiring everyone to get around as fast as they could and get signatures on the required blanks. There were only three of us who could claim having lived in more than 5 states, only two born in other countries onlly two who can yodel, and poor Anna, with her bright red hair gave up trying to fill hers and just signed...Then we all got together in the middle of the gym and held hands forming a human knot. I found that quite interesting, having never done that before. Then we actually followed someone's called out suggestion to "Do the Hokey Pokey!" So we did! By then it was time to clean up and set up for church tomorrow. A fun time was had by one and all. [Yes, Dad came. He ate, was introduced to a couple of new people, and left before the games began. He considered it a success as well.]

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Vin called tonight. They expect to be in Indianapolis for the summer! Only 3 hours away! Yay!
He said he was playing Peek-a-Boo with Chloe and when he asked her where the ball had gone she answered,"France." What a brilliant child!

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I have Richard's Been here, Done That Book up to date. Including a copy of his driver's license he got this week. Including the report card that just came home Fri. [Excellent, I might add.]
Look out, Erica, I'm on a roll!

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Time's up--another blood sugar check, and hopefully, bed!

Normalcy

I'm not quite sure what "normalcy" is. I suspect it is different for each and everyone. But I am quite sure that normalcy means some semblence of a routine.

We haven't had that for quite awhile in our house--unless you count Mom going to churvch at early morning Seminary time [6:30] and from that point on working on the Nativity until around 10:pm day after day after grueling day. It was worth it--we had a great success, and it is over.

Usually once a show has gone through strike [tearing down the set etc. and putting away everything] it is over for me, and out of mind--like a toddler whose toy "disappears from sight" it is gone. Not this time. It is rather thre gorilla in the room no one[ OK, few] talk about. I can't quite purge it from my mind.

Maybe filling the time with routine life will help. I'm begining to get back somewhat of an exercise regime, of course, now it is raining, which cramps my bicycling style, but I'm walking or riding in the neighborhood at least between showers. This alone is making me feel more human. Getting the Christmas tree down helped as well--now for the outside lights! [see rain above!] Getting back on schedule for my every other weekly stint in the FHC [Family History Center] helps, and this week I'll be getting back to my Thurs am scripture class. Richard has been back in school for a week, and Erica [and her friend, Jenia, who was a delightful houseguest--she brought me chocolate!!]left this morning as well.

We're getting the forecasting business back up and running. [commercial--if you need a weather forecast for a special event--wedding, party etc.--call 1-877-4U4-CAST] the office is getting set up, flyers are being mailed [Lura, you remember that rolodex!] and I am learning to use my new cell phone that will be on my person at all times so that I can answer no matter where or when.

Just doing laundry and vacuuming is remarkably soothing. Scripture reading, journaling, scrapbooking, genealogy, and of course blogging is helping as well. I am so ready for this new routine with the feeling of returning to normalcy--even though there is a lot of new mixed in!